She's a killer queen...

For the Week of July 14, 2008
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She's a killer queen...
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Lulu accidentally stabbed and killed Logan, but it wasn't entirely accidental; there is the small fact that she had a giant knife in her hand.

Lulu accidentally stabbed and killed Logan, but it wasn't entirely accidental; there is the small fact that she had a giant knife in her hand. You can't accidentally stab someone unless you are wielding a sharp object. Lulu was certainly justified in grabbing a knife; Logan unexpectedly transformed into Jason Vorhees and chopped down the Zacharra's door with an axe.

Questions... First off - where did Logan GET an axe? When he came around the corner, his hands were empty. Second, wouldn't someone in the Metro Court have noticed a crazed bloody man in the corridors with an axe and called security? Third, why did Lulu drop to the floor and just sit there as he bashed the door down, did she really think he wouldn't find her behind the sofa? What sort of cheap workmanship went into that hotel anyway, that the doors could be busted down so easily? He didn't even really need an axe, that thing would have crumbled with my bare foot, I think. Last but not least, why didn't the hotel staff or other residents or guests notice a missing door? I guess security is really lax since Max left their employ.

Wait, wait, I lied, I have more questions. Why did Lucky act like he didn't know anything about Lulu's involvement after Lulu kept frantically calling his cell? I heard her yelling "Lucky pick up!" and she called back several times. Even supposing his voice mail didn't catch her shrieking, wouldn't he see the 5 missed calls from his sister? And why did she keep calling Maxie when she could see Maxie was unconscious and passed on out the Crimson floor? And, one more, no really, this time I mean it... Why did Lulu fake kiss Logan? I mean if you have a crazed dude with an axe in your room, isn't that motivation enough to do a master thespian performance and kiss him like a hooker would do for a 100 bucks?

Unanswered questions aside, Logan is dead. One reader suggested Logan's sudden violent streak could have been attributed to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his horrific experiences in Iraq. Kind of a shame The Powers That Be didn't take time to delve into a topic so relevant, but hey, it's pretty juicy as is.

Maxie and Johnny came in just as the deed had been done. The Scooby Gang immediately started spinning a cover story as they seemed certain that no one would believe the truth considering all of their shaky history with Logan. Enter Claudia. Johnny lied and took responsibility for killing Logan. Lulu was exceedingly shaky and tried to stop him from taking the blame, but Maxie hustled her out of Club Zacharra to Kelly's to stage a public brawl so they could establish an alibi. Claudia believed she was covering for John and stepped into high gear to remove all the evidence from the premises.

The best part of this storyline is the fact that it is ushering in the return of our beloved Laura Spencer in August. For the past couple of weeks people were warning Lulu that she may be as mentally unstable as her Mom. My theory is that this whole murder episode will push Lulu over the edge, and Laura will take notice that her daughter is her roommate at Shadybrook and finally speak. Something cheesy like that, you know it is coming. Frankly, I don't care how far-fetched the plot is that bring Genie Francis back, evil twin, frozen in Helena's underground lair, taken to Lumina and probed by Casey the space alien - go any route you want if it brings Laura home.

Nothing good happens to Claudia at home, Anthony always calls her a slut and tosses her out of the room, and we finally know why. Back when Claudia was an innocent 16 year old, she slept with Trevor thinking it would alert Anthony to what a weasel Trevor truly was, but her plan backfired. Instead of pinning the blame on Anthony for sleeping with his teenage daughter, he labeled Claudia a slut and whore and sent her away.

After an unhappy encounter with Anthony, Claudia went to Sonny's and started stripping down, begging him to treat her like the slut she was. Sonny suddenly saw the wounded side of Claudia, and instead of taking advantage of her sexual offer, he counseled her and gave her sound advice. He told her that he understands how it feels to have the people you respect in life constantly telling you that you're bad or violent and how you start living your life so that their words become true. Sonny told Claudia he may have misjudged her. She replied that she didn't come for advice, she came to get laid, and she picked up her things and left.

One thing I really like about Claudia in comparison to other characters is that the writers have made her a woman who accepts personal responsibility for her mistakes. When Anthony blamed her for the Michael shooting debacle, Johnny leapt to her defense, but Claudia stopped him. "He right", she said, "I did this." She didn't place blame or try to wiggle out of it; she admits it when she is wrong.

Carly on the other hand is freaking out because Jax kissed Kate while she banged Sonny in the limo. When Jason pointed this out to her, she came up with a new Carly rule that since she and Sonny had had sex in the past, that wasn't cheating, but since Jax kissed Kate for the first time that was much worse. Did you ever know a kid like that growing up? In the middle of a baseball game he does the time out sign and says something like "From now on, the maple tree is only 3rd base when the ball is popped up, but if it's a bunt, the daffodil patch is 3rd." and that rule occurred because he was called out at the maple tree after a bunt, but sees he could have made it to the daffodils. Carly is that kid.

Of course it didn't help matters that Kate was photographed on her knees with her face in Jax's crotch. Seriously now, Kate had that giant Flintstone's sized rock on her finger and it just slid off without her noticing? I'm surprised when it fell into the limo floor it didn't tip the whole car over like the brontosaurus ribs. At any rate, the photographers got the money shot, and Carly intimidated Spinelli into digging for dirt on Kate, and he found some. Carly has waged war with Kate and sent the press to publicly humiliate her about the photo. She is determined to ruin Kate as she believes Kate is chasing Jax. Sadly for Carly, while Sonny was berating her and telling her to leave Kate alone, he told her he would tell Jax they had sex in the limo if she didn't back off just as Jax walked in. Did he hear? Well since ABC has scrapped our previews, we don't even have a hint.

There was a lot to love on GH this week- I loved Robin's scenes with Sonny and Jason, for instance. That was a tribute to their history, to the character's true hearts and I applaud whichever writer pitched those scenes. Perhaps they are just laying the foundation for Jagger's return to GH Nightshift, but even so, I'll take it. I got to see the Robin I love this week and not the Robin I detest and that was a happy surprise.

Another happy surprise is the return of the ever babe-alicious Rick Springfield as Dr. Noah Drake. I really just like looking at him. That is incredibly shallow, and yet, completely true. The entire court storyline with Anna set to testify for Patrick and Noah set to testify for Robin was driving me nuts, but it came to a delightfully wonderful conclusion as Patrick poured out his heart on the stand and Robin, sincerely moved, hopped up and stopped the proceedings. True love always wins out. It takes its time, but it always wins.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will someone in the Metro Court ask if they, too, can get a shiny new door for their condo? Will Kate take her ring to the jewelers to get it sized? Will Maxie and Lulu suddenly become slumber party buddies and lifelong friends? Will Eli Love still want Anna when he finds out she is going to be a granny? Will Nadine have to look at thug lineups every day even though she told the cops about 11 times she didn't see the driver of the car? Will Jason change the locks on his penthouse so Carly can't let herself in anymore? Will Maxie be able to lie her way out of Anthony's place?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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